Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize