They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
The best revenge is premature balding
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
