dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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