I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
