if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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