Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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