You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
