Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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