No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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