i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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