Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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