Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
