She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
