She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize