I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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