I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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