I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
