I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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