We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
