i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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