Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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