it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
