my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Randomize
