bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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