I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
