bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Randomize
