i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
