i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
