do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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