the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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