Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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