Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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