lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
