i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
