Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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