Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
