the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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