I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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