I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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