Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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