You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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