I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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