I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
These tits shall not be calmed
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
