so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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