Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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