Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
