You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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