i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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