I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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