if you like me you must not know who I am
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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