I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
