You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
