I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
