Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
