What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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