drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
