yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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