just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
