I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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