She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
